2011 Priest and Laurel Retreat!

YW: Savannah Sardan, Shaina Machado, Christina Padilla, Sara Slaughter, Lindsey Owens, Kinsey Lopez, Katelyn (from another ward).

YM: Doug Moore, Mason Dowdy, Josh Whetman, Adam Hawkes

Every year the Stake plans a retreat for the Laurels and Priests and I think it is a wonderful idea because they are so close to the time that they need to really be thinking and preparing for the temple. I didn't go last year, one of my counselors went for me. I really felt like I should be there this time, and it helped that they asked me to speak at one of the Saturday workshops. I knew it would be tricky, with getting the kids situated, etc., and I knew Eva would have to tag along, but it worked out smoothly and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to be there. My day Friday leading up to it was crazy....I had to pack the kids overnight bag which had to include football clothes for Luke's game, basketball clothes for Gavin's game, their piano books, and a present for Cooper Lopez's birthday. Thank goodness AGAIN for friends like Amy Lopez who ran my kids to piano, Luke's football game, and let Eva and Gavin hang out all day Friday when I was with Emma at her field trip. And then thank goodness for a wonderful sister and brother-in-law who drove up to take care of the kids Saturday and Morgan went to Gavin's game for me. For things like this it takes sooooo many people for it to work out and I am so grateful I have friends and family to help me out. Luckily they let me check out the kids early from school after the field trip so I was able to go and drop them off and then pick up 4 of my Laurels. Whew it was crazy but we made it!

So to start off the retreat we had dinner and then President Hawkes spoke to the kids and introduced the theme. He was very serious with them and told them that this time it is a more spiritual retreat focused on the temple and bluntly told them that if they were there to play pranks, etc. that they could leave now (just before he spoke some stinker YM let off a fire cracker and I know they had more up their sleeves....he put an end to that quick :)

Then they had a man named Brother Stanley speak to them. Talk about an inspiring man. Brother Stanley has Cerebral Palsy, so he walks with a major limp. He talked about being obedient and preparing for the temple. He told of a story of a man that he worked with at the State Corrections (I think that's right). This man had hair down to his waist that he had been growing for 20 years and was having trouble getting a job. Brother Stanley was straight forward with him and told him that if he cut his hair then he would get a job. The Amway arena was hiring some of these folks that were coming out of the correction facility but they told Brother Stanley that they didn't want the rough looking men there during the game but that they could come after the basketball games to clean up. So Brother Stanley told them they could be on the first string clean up crew if they cut their hair and looked sharp or on the second string crew that cleaned up after the game. This man cut his hair and things really changed for him. He knew Brother Stanley was coming to speak to the youth and so he wrote a letter for him to share with the kids and told of his experience. Brother Stanley urged the boys to look the part of a missionary and start now to be obedient to the counsel of their leaders.

He also told them an amazing story of overcoming trials and tribulations. With his handicap he didn't know if he would be able to serve a mission. When he got his patriarchal blessing it said he would serve a mission and so he had faith that it would be possible. He went to California and one of his first days there the President asked him if he could ride a bike. Brother Stanley told him he could, he didn't tell him how well he could, but that he could. His first day out on his bike his companion took off and was way ahead. He finally stopped and looked back to find Brother Stanley walking with his bike. He had to find a parked car to start on his bike. He would lean his bike up against the car, swing his legs on, and then push off from the car. Then to stop he had to find some soft grass to crash into! Talk about a devoted and faithful servant. The kids were silent as they listened and the spirit was very strong. I'm sure they will think of Brother Stanley when the time comes to go on their missions and they know there is NO excuse for not going!

Then they had all kinds of fun games that the kids really enjoyed. After the games they had all the bishops go up to the front and answer questions that the youth had written down earlier in the night. They had great questions like: Why is french kissing bad? There are some rated R movies that are really good with a good message...are there some exceptions to the rule or is it black and white NO rated R movies? What do you know now that you wish you would have known when you were our age? How can I make my prayers more meaningful? Single vs. group dating? What is your favorite scripture? If you were to read just 1 chapter in the Book of Mormon what would it be? Why do men work and women are expected to stay home?

I thought they were all great questions and I thought the bishops did an amazing job. In fact one of the girls in my ward was called upon to get up in Sacrament meeting and tell about the retreat and she said she has always had a testimony of the Prophet, but she really felt the spirit and gained a testimony of supporting the local leaders with the way the Bishops answered with such inspiration. After this I knew I better head home, I didn't want to sleep there in the cabins with Eva....can you imagine "GIRLS - you have to be quiet or you'll wake my baby!" So Eva and I drove home around midnight...yes she lasted that long in the cold and was such a trooper! I had her all bundled up and she stayed in my arms for a good portion of the night and then stayed in her stroller! What a great baby.

The next morning I was dying at the fact that I was going to miss Gavin's FIRST EVER basketball game and so I went to about 30 minutes of his game and then went back to the retreat. It was perfect timing and I got there about 30 minutes before Matt and I had to speak. They had 3 workshops that morning. The first workshop President Hawkes, a counselor in the Stake Presidency, and Brother Munns, one of Matt's YM counselors spoke about preparing for the temple and a mission. The second workshop they had 3 recently returned missionaries speak on the blessings of serving a mission, and then the third workshop a couple from our ward spoke and so did Matt and I. We talked on the blessings of a temple marriage. Matt started out and talked about how small and simple decisions can really impact your life and the lives of others down the road. He talked about Ammon and how his decision to go out and serve impacted nations after him with the Stripling Warriors going out and saving the people. He told of his own experience and how he knew he was going to go on a mission, he just didn't know when. He thought he had it planned out that he would get a whole year of school in first. Then his dad called and urged him to go earlier. He was a little bugged at his dad for trying to change his original plan and was a bit defensive. After he got off the phone with his dad he noticed a picture of the Savior staring at him and he really felt he needed to heed his father's counsel. He wondered if he didn't decide to go then and put it off if he wouldn't have had the same mission call to Russia and met the same people, etc. AND that is kind of how I met Matt...after institute I heard him talking about his mission to Russia and butted into the conversation asking "You went to Russia?" For his talk he made it sound like I was in awe that he went to Russia and that's why I butted in...when in reality I had a missionary out and his friend was in Russia on his mission and I just wanted to see if he knew him :) BUT I didn't want to bring that up :) He talked more of the blessings of a temple marriage and did a great job.

Then it was my turn...I started out asking if anyone had an item that they loved and took great care of. I used my own example that I always wanted a silver car with a sun roof, and leather seats...at the time I was picturing a mini-van, but I really do love my mini van now. :) I love it and try my hardest to take care of it...I keep after the kids and rarely let them eat in the car and make them vacuum it out if they do. I said Matt's item is his phone, you don't mess with his phone. :) They gave example like their ipod, their violin, their camera, their book collection, etc. I then gave a quote from Elder F. Burton Howard "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently - it becomes special become you have made it so." He told the following story: "We started as poor college students, but her vision for our marriage was exemplified by a set of silverware. As is common today, when we married she registered with a local department store. Instead of listing all the pots and pans and appliances we needed and hoped to receive, she chose another course. She asked for silverware. She chose a pattern and the number of place settings and listed knives, forks, and spoons on the wedding registry and nothing else. No towels, no toasters, no television—just knives, forks, and spoons.

The wedding came and went. Our friends and our parents’ friends gave gifts. We departed for a brief honeymoon and decided to open the presents when we returned. When we did so, we were shocked. There was not a single knife or fork in the lot. We joked about it and went on with our lives.

Two children came along while we were in law school. We had no money to spare. But when my wife worked as a part-time election judge or when someone gave her a few dollars for her birthday, she would quietly set it aside, and when she had enough she would go to town to buy a fork or a spoon. It took us several years to accumulate enough pieces to use them. When we finally had service for four, we began to invite some of our friends for dinner.

Before they came, we would have a little discussion in the kitchen. Which utensils would we use, the battered and mismatched stainless or the special silverware? In those early days I would often vote for the stainless. It was easier. You could just throw it in the dishwasher after the meal, and it took care of itself. The silver, on the other hand, was a lot of work. My wife had it hidden away under the bed where it could not be found easily by a burglar. She had insisted that I buy a tarnish-free cloth to wrap it in. Each piece was in a separate pocket, and it was no easy task to assemble all the pieces. When the silver was used, it had to be hand washed and dried so that it would not spot, and put back in the pockets so it would not tarnish, and wrapped up and carefully hidden again so it would not get stolen. If any tarnish was discovered, I was sent to buy silver polish, and together we carefully rubbed the stains away.

Over the years we added to the set, and I watched with amazement how she cared for the silver. My wife was never one to get angry easily. However, I remember the day when one of our children somehow got hold of one of the silver forks and wanted to use it to dig up the backyard. That attempt was met with a fiery glare and a warning not to even think about it. Ever!

I noticed that the silverware never went to the many ward dinners she cooked, or never accompanied the many meals she made and sent to others who were sick or needy. It never went on picnics and never went camping. In fact it never went anywhere; and, as time went by, it didn’t even come to the table very often. Some of our friends were weighed in the balance, found wanting, and didn’t even know it. They got the stainless when they came to dinner.

The time came when we were called to go on a mission. I arrived home one day and was told that I had to rent a safe-deposit box for the silver. She didn’t want to take it with us. She didn’t want to leave it behind. And she didn’t want to lose it.

For years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.

Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way. I pray that we may see it for the priceless gift that it is"

I told them that right now they don't have a marriage to "treat differently" but they need to prepare NOW for their marriages in a way that is different then what the world does. If they want their marriage to last forever start acting now and preparing now. I mentioned how in 1995 I thought it was so weird that the First Presidency had to define what the family is and how now I realize how inspired it was and is because the family is under attack. We have gay marriage, people living together, children born out of wedlock, divorce, abuse, unfaithfulness, etc. Matt read a statistic that 41% of the babies born today are out of wedlock and that is up from 3% in the 1960's. SAD! They have to act differently and not partake of the worldly pleasures but live the standards set out in the Strength of Youth pamphlet, then they will have the marriage that lasts forever!

It was fun to speak and I really felt the spirit. What a great group of Youth that were at the retreat. After the workshops we drove out to the temple and had lunch at the chapel across from it and then went and listened to the Temple President speak and then it came to a close. I am so proud of Matt and the rest of the Stake YM and YW Presidencies for a wonderfully planned and inspired event. I know the kids really felt the spirit and were uplifted.